"We are going through some bad weather. Please fasten your seat belts." announced the flight attendant.
"Seriously!" yelled billy. Then when I looked out of the plane window,I saw something whiz past the window.
"Whatever."I muttered to myself. After about 5 minutes,I looked out the window again. This time,I saw something green whiz past my window.
"Did you see that?"I asked Billy.
"What do you think"He answered back his voice dripping with sarcasm. I looked again. I saw something green pass my window. Apparently,so did Billy.
" We are under attack by aliens"He screamed. Everyone else started screaming.
Dear Taayan,
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking part in this week's 100 Word Challenge. I loved this story! Your use of dialogue was great. It really kept me interested. I really liked the line: "dripping with sarcasm." You seem like you have a great vocabulary; I just wish you had made better use of it! Make sure you aren't using too many of the same words repeatedly. For example, you could replace the word "whiz" with words like "flew" or "zip" so that you don't use it twice too close together. This is an awesome idea for a story, and I hope you keep writing. Keep up the good work!
Deanna Schmidt (Team 100 WC)
Pennsylvania