Monday, April 28, 2014

100 Word Challenge: Abby

100 Word Challenge
By:Abby

    I was just standing there. Watching TV. Then I heard the noise. And when I opened the cupboard door I saw her. My sister eating our box of German chocolate. I was mad and confused at the same time. She was not allowed to eat the chocolate and I was wondering how she could fit in the cabinet. Before I had the chance to ask any questions she jumped out of the cabinet onto the floor and raw away. I didn't know what to do but to follow her. Then I saw what she was hiding. I could not believe my eyes.

2 comments:

  1. Hello Abby,
    Your discovery certainly was an unexpected one. Finding your sister eating forbidden chocolate inside the cupboard would be quite a surprise. Your plot choice definitely made the story intriguing.
    The cliffhanger ending is also compelling. The introduction of a twist, such as the idea that your sister was hiding something that was unbelievable to you, is a great writing strategy for engaging the reader.
    My suggestion for making your writing even better is to vary the way you begin your sentences. Starting some of them with a verb and an -ing ending will give movement and action to your story.
    You interpreted and used the prompt creatively, which made your story an interesting read!
    Thank you for sharing your imagination,
    Gina Felton (Team 100, Iowa)

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  2. Hi and thank you for reading my piece. I am glad you liked it. I will take in your tip and will use it when I write more. Thanks.

    --- Abby

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