I open the cabinet. "Nope not here" I say after throwing everything out of it. My sister stands behind me and catches everything I throw. After opening, tossing everything out, putting the items back in, and closing almost all of the cabinets, my face is bright red and my sister is sweating. "Come on!" My sister whines.
"I'm trying" I say back. We move to the last cupboard. "here we go" I say taking steps towards the cupboard. "Come on" My sister cuts into the story. "Let me finish!" I say. And when I opened the cupboard door I saw..."
"Girls, come down to dinner!" We grunt.
Hi Emma,
ReplyDeleteYou have written this so well. I always find writing in the present tense is very difficult but you have done it perfectly. What works really well is the way we never find out what is in the cupboard, or even what it is you are looking for! This hooks the reader in as they would want to know - just like I do.
What were you looking for?? Or is it a secret never to be told!
Great writing.
Mr Connor
Team 100wc
Derby, UK