Monday, April 21, 2014
100 Word Challenge: Emma
I run down the hill into the woods. “I’ve got this” I say. I’ve been entered in an Easter egg hunt from all of our districts combined. I was the kid chosen to compete. Us kids are to be searching for the grand egg! If we find it, it will help out our district a LOT! I look around the forest and spot a egg. I place it in my wagon and keep on going. “One hour left!” The speakers call. Time flies but I couldn't find the egg. “One minute left!” the speakers call. I run around looking and looking… and then I see it.
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Hello Emma, this is a very good interpretation of the key phrase. I love the idea of the extra dimension to the egg hunt, and the suspense in your story.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you start off your story with the present, and then back-track to fill in the detail of why you are there.
I have just one suggestion to make and that is in the phrase "Time flies...". You need the present tense of couldn't to keep the sentence in the present tense along with the rest of the story.
Very well done.
Sarah Team 100WC
Montpellier, France
* Brilliant story Emma, it has all the features needed!
ReplyDelete* Starting the story off with present, is unusual but I like it!
W- Some of the writing is present so try and change it to past but overall good job!